It happened again. Last night, my husband and I got a babysitter for our little one, got all dolled up and headed out for a wild night on the town (read: dinner and a movie). We went to our favorite Texas-style eatery, enjoyed a delicious meal, and then my evening was brought to an abrupt pause with the question from our waitress as she wrapped up our leftovers: "Is this going to be one check or two?"
My husband tried to make a joke out of it. After she walked away, he said (with a wink), "Oh, she was just trying to see if she could come home with me tonight." He then followed up a few seconds later with, "What would you have done if I had said two checks?" Um, yeah. That would have been a stand up, exit the restaurant, and wait for you, seething, beside the minivan. It's hard to be rageful when you are driving home in your husband's minivan, but I somehow would have managed.
Earlier this year, I actually posed the question to my friends on Facebook: How often are you and your spouse/significant other asked if it will be one check or two in a restaurant. 90% of my friends responded with something along the lines of, "Never!...and I would be downright offended by the question!" One friend told me, "As a former waitress, I can tell you all of the people who wanted separate checks made that clear when they first sat down, and I would never ask a table of two that!"
Marriage is hard. Being in an interracial marriage in the South can be darnright aggravating. I think moments like this wouldn't be so difficult for me if I remembered, on a daily basis, that my husband and I are different colors. I'm not colorblind, I don't think such a thing really exists. It's more like I'm color indifferent. I just forget that, to the rest of the world, we don't always look like a matched set the way we do to ourselves.
For the record, the waitress didn't ask either of the white couples next to us if they'd like one check or two.
Lighting the unity candle at our wedding, aka Dinner with Vows :-)
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